Tough time
So my nutritionist has officially told me now that she thinks out patient recovery for my anorexia is impossible so I’ll be going to a hospital for minimum three weeks. I’m terrified, its an hour away from my home. Plus, I can’t bring my phone or any kind of device I could access internet with so I’ll be distant from everyone. I want to get better but then again I don’t want to to do it this way. I don’t want to be put on a bunch of different medications, made to eat, forced not to exercise, all away from any kind of support I have and costing my family thousands in the expenses of it. Still, I’m gonna push forward and try my best to be a healthier me. Yesterday I cut off pretty much most of my hair so I can grow it out like I’ve been wanting to my natural color. Now I’m regretting it knowing I have to go into a new setting with weird new hair and absolutely no social skills to begin with. At least, my best friend cares more than I thought. She called me as soon as she got my text telling her I’ll be going in on Thursday probably(monday the latest) which made me totally cry. At least I can leave knowing I’m cared about.
Anyways, sorry for this emotional throw up, just I had to put my feelings out there somewhere.
I wish I had some frozen yogurt right now… but I should really go study for my history test tomorrow. xD;;
ditto :>
This is what my life feels like every time my mom makes those damn blueberry muffins!— chelsuh
